I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school through the 8th grade, but when I reached high school I began to drift away from the church. I decided that I would lead the best life I could and if there was a God I would be judged on how I lived. Eventually I walked away from faith altogether as I became more influenced by the world.

After many years I started thinking about what I believed and started looking for the truth. Over the years I have been through stages of Atheism, Agnosticism, and Deism but I eventually came to the conclusion that none of this was an accident, there had to be more to it all. But I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) come to terms with what that meant so I just left it at that, still content with living a good life thinking that should be good enough.

  Then in 2014 my mother-in-law Nancy passed away. Our family gathered on a rainy day to begin making the preparations, and when we left my father-in-law Earl that evening a rainbow stretched across the sky. I still remembered what the rainbow signified and I was struck with the sudden feeling that this was a sign meant for me. A little nudge. I was equally struck by the courage I saw my wife and her two sisters display at their Mother’s celebration of life. They were sad and yet joyful because they KNEW Nancy was in heaven with Jesus. I wanted that type of faith but I could not find it. The seed was planted.

  In 2015 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, this shook me to the core and made begin to rethink everything I had believed (or not believed) for so long. I was consumed by thoughts of mortality, fear, death, and uncertainty. I hit rock bottom. But then I started to think about this as another sign, another nudge, because this was an incidental finding which was unrelated to the issue I went to the hospital for. It was like I was being guided…

 When my wife and I went away for our anniversary, about 6 weeks before my surgery, we had a long conversation about what I was facing and I broke down and told her everything I was going through. I was falling apart and I needed help, I was in a very dark place. I needed to talk to her pastor.

  We set up a meeting with her pastor toward the end of September. I could not justify in my mind seeking God when I needed him after ignoring him when times were good. I felt like a hypocrite but Pastor Thomas put it in terms that were so simple I could not see it before. I accepted Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior that night. 

  For months my thoughts were consumed day and night about my surgery, my future, and my family but on Friday afternoon, two days after accepting Jesus, I stopped what I was doing at work because it suddenly struck me that I was at peace. I had not thought about what I was facing for the first time in months. I knew I was going to be okay no matter what happened.

It seems naive now, but I didn’t even realize what this all meant until that same Friday evening when I went out to eat with my wife and one of my sons, that’s when my wife asked my son if he had heard that I had been saved. I remember thinking, is that what this means?