I was supposed to write this article in May of 2024, but I didn’t. A couple of months later I realized why I was supposed to write it; there was somebody who needed to hear it. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I was ignoring the still small voice of God. When I realized that’s what I did, I promised God I would never ignore that voice when it wakes me up at night.

It’s now two years later and God’s still small voice woke me up the other night and prompted me again, saying I still needed to write this article. So holding true to my promise, here it is.

This is for anyone out there who is fighting a silent battle.

A Sobering Moment

I quit drinking alcohol eight years ago this month.

While sitting in a hospital bed, I was told by a doctor that if I loved life and I wanted to be around awhile I would quit drinking. I didn’t want to quit, and I honestly had no intention of quitting.

I was in denial, but before I left the hospital I understood that I needed to quit. The doctor’s blunt statement was the slap in the face I needed. I can’t remember the doctor’s face, but I have never forgotten those words.

I made two decisions when I left the hospital; the first was to quit drinking, and the second was to fight this battle silently, to internalize it. I remember the nurses’ concerned looks when I turned down the information they wanted to give me, saying I didn’t need any help.

They had heard that story before and they didn’t believe me, but there is one thing they didn’t know. While I was going to fight this battle silently, I wasn’t going to fight it alone.

A Secret Weapon…

It’s true that I didn’t burden other people with my battle, but I had a secret weapon in Jesus. He walks with me and strengthens me, especially during those times when a drink sounds good. Those moments get fewer and farther apart as the years go by. They are almost non-existent now, but it wasn’t always that way, and Jesus was always there for me.

…For Silent Battles

I’m not the only one out there who is facing a silent battle. There are millions of people fighting something they are keeping to themselves. On the outside it might look as if everything is okay, because they have become masters of masking their feelings and hiding their pain, but inside they are struggling to keep it together. Some of them are fighting for their lives.

Maybe their battle is with alcohol, drugs, or depression and anxiety, or maybe it’s a financial burden. There are many things that people battle every day that nobody knows about. This is why it is so important for us to let no corrupting talk come out of our mouths (Ephesians 4:29).

They have various reasons for keeping it inside: pride, shame, fear of rejection or ridicule, embarrassment, or maybe they don’t want to burden others with their problems.

You might be one of the people who is fighting silently, but you don’t have to fight alone. You can overcome whatever it is you’re facing with Jesus as your secret weapon in this fight. He will lift you up and strengthen you, fight alongside you, and comfort you when you need it. He is waiting for you to call on His name. There will be hard days and there will be easier days, but Jesus will stand there with you through it all.

You might be fighting silently for the right reason, but even so it’s still not the best decision. While trying to spare others from your pain, you are making the battle tougher on yourself.

With Jesus you won’t be fighting alone, but you still don’t have to fight silently. God put those people in your life–don’t push them away. Please don’t be afraid or ashamed to talk to your loved ones and ask for their help or their support.

They love you and they want to help you. Chances are if you are very close they already know something is wrong. Helping you might actually be helping them as well. They could be fighting a silent battle also, and together you will be helping each other.

I’ve been through a silent battle with Jesus at my side, but I’ve also fought a silent battle alone, so I understand how much of a difference Jesus can make.

Battle Tested

In 2015 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I didn’t have Jesus in my life at that time. For many months I struggled silently and alone, feeling no hope. But I just couldn’t bring myself to burden anyone else with this. Perhaps if I had, it would have eased the burden my wife must have been carrying also. I regret this decision because if we had fought it together it would have helped both of us deal with the situation.

About six weeks before my surgery I finally broke down and told my wife everything. We set up an appointment to talk to her pastor two weeks later, and I accepted Jesus into my heart. For that last month I felt an inner peace that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Jesus got me through that dark period, right as it was getting darkest.

While I had started fighting that battle alone, I ended up fighting it with Jesus at my side. Jesus was beside me, lifting me up and fighting with me. He can be there with you too.

God is with you, even if you don’t have someone you can turn to, or if you still can’t bring yourself to talk to them. You can always turn to Him. His love for you is greater than you can ever imagine, and He won’t reject you. If you don’t know Him, just reach out from the heart and ask Him to come to you. Talk to a pastor if you need questions answered. If you would rather be anonymous, message me. I will help you.

God is waiting for you to turn to Him, and He will carry you through.

The day before my surgery one of my coworkers came up to me and said, “How can you be so calm? If they were cutting my head open tomorrow, I would be freaking out right now.”

I knew how I was supposed to answer the question, but I was still too immature in my faith, and not confident enough to say, “I have Jesus with me.”

I don’t want to be silent any more, and I want everyone who is fighting silently to know that they don’t have to be alone. Jesus said it Himself: “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 ESV).

And He will.

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